The Fate of the Kunlangeta

We ask ourselves daily questions about how we might respond to certain situations and moral dilemmas- well, some of us do. Throughout history there have been infamous names popping up as individuals without such a moral basis. These people have been said to have: mania without delirium, moral derangement, moral insanity, constitutional psychopathic inferiority, and many other names but most recently psychopathology.

So what do we do with a psychopath? Most times we have thought these people to be predators devoid of any sense of right or wrong; men and women lacking that nagging voice of a cricket we like to call a conscience. But is that the case?

Psychopaths are often thought of as our most dangerous criminals. Mostly men (about 1% of the general population but about 25-30% in prisons), they are often quite charming, willing to do anything to accomplish their goals, very manipulative, intelligent, act socially responsible, and so are able to succeed in society quite well, especially in business, law, and politics where such traits can be desirable. They are not always violent, though quite often so. Many forms of financial crimes against people are also the work of a psychopath.

In the 1950's and 1960's it was very difficult for people to meet the clinical criteria for depression. No one was depressed. Then it was studied. Links found to decreased hormone levels within the brain and the pharmaceutical companies went hog wild. Knowing that they had a product to sell that may or may not be able to give some amount of relief to people with mild, moderate, and/or severe cases of depression, they lobbied for changes in the clinical criteria and now chances are that you are now, have been, or will be clinically depressed because EVERYONE is.

What does this have to do with psychopathology? Well, admittedly not much. But there are big strides being made in the research of the pathology. Using MRI technology Dr. Kent Kiehl has been doing brain scans on inmates that have shown high indicators of psychopathology based on the current standard PCL-R testing. And he is actually finding a medical basis for hypotheses regarding the condition. One: most people hearing words like 'love' or 'hate' will respond to them within the brain in both the linguistics section (knowing the meaning) and the emotional section (knowing the feeling) of the brain. Inmates appear to respond only in the linguistics section. Two: they have found that while most people understand consequences of actions, such as when you are losing badly at a high stakes card game, and will extricate themselves from the situation. Psychopaths have a tendency to only focus on the outcome of the next hand and stay on, forgetting the consequences of what is to come. Three: Like many of you, I have a fear of personal injury and a fear of punishment- psychopaths do not. This has been linked to dysfunctions of the amygdala in the brain- another emotion processing center.
It is great that advanced testing has been able to show actual results in this section of study, especially as the MRI scans are incredible expensive (about $500/hr to run and $2 million dollars for the magnet that runs the machine). The problem is now what? We have a potential cause for the problem. The predators can now be labelled the victims. And how many drugs will be formulated to "help" people with this affliction, and will they help people as well as the multitude of depression drugs now out on the market. How will the legal system have to adapt? At the current time the PCL-R test scale has been used to send criminals with high scores to death row and has been used in child custody cases to keep children from potentially dangerous parents. Will it eventually be able to be used as their defense?

For more information I recommend the Nov. 10 issue of The New Yorker, "Suffering Souls by John Seabrook and "The Mask of Sanity" by Hervey Cleckley (writer of "The Three Faces of Eve").

Now what about our kunlangeta? This is the Yupi Eskimo term for a man who repeatedly lies, cheats, steals and takes women for advantage sexually- when an Eskimo man was asked about this in 1976 by anthropologist Jane Murphy, the man replied, "Somebody would have pushed him off the ice when nobody else was looking."

Twinkie Ingredient #2 Sugar

Bet everyone forgot about this segment. We've discussed everything that goes into the flour making process previously, but what makes the twinkie flour exactly what is needed for that sickeningly sweet, soft, powdery twinkie is...you got it, sugar! Not those corn sweeteners that we'll discuss later, but pure sugar from live plants. The sugar isn't used just for sweetness, but also to make the cake have the consistency we want and to act as one of the most powerful preservatives in the cake allowing it to last, well, forever as far as anyone knows.

Most people think of the sugar as coming from the sugar cane plant grown in tropical climates- and much of it does. Just as much comes from the northern climates such as North Dakota and Minnesota where the sugar beet is harvested. Regardless of the plant, the processing is the same.

Take your plants(sugar cane or sugar beet) and wash them down, crush them up, and let them sit in hot water to bring out the sweetness. Add a little lime to the mix to combine with impurities and remove them, filter the juice to get rid of the lime mix substances and now you're left with a sweet syrup. The juicy syrup goes through a series of vacuum pans which keep it at a temperature to boil but not burn or caramelize. Once this is done you can centrifuge out the sugar crystals that we all know and love (but still containing molasses, so a bit darker than we're used to). Repeat the process almost identically to remove the molasses, and BLAMMO- sugar!

It's nice to see one ingredient that really hasn't been so chemically altered as to look like a cyborg of the original constituents.

Oh, go jump off a cliff!

If I'm going to jump off a bridge it's not going to be just because everyone else is doing it. I'm going to have a good reason. After all, I'm not a lemming. Fortunately for lemmings, they aren't going to jump off a bridge just because everyone else is either. Wait. You thought lemmings were those little rodents that, when overpopulated, took off in large groups and jumped off a cliff, right? Well, you are right and you are wrong. They are those little rodents that take off in large groups when overpopulated. Contrary to popular belief, they leave the area to find a new less populated home, or rather leave the city to settle in the suburbs. If they wanted mass suicide, why jump off a cliff when you can just poison the Kool Aid and serve it in a blocked burrow? If that's the case, why does everyone think they are killing themselves?
In large part you can blame the 1958 Disney film White Wilderness for that. I know what you're thinking, "Can't be, I've never even heard of the movie." Apparently word gets around, because I hadn't heard of it either but always "knew" that lemmings jumped off cliffs to escape the traffic and road rage of urban lemming life. The nature documentary shows a scene with a supposedly real cliff-jumping mass lemming suicide. Disney said it was a real suicide scene taken place in their native Arctic home, so why should we believe any different? Well, in 1982 Bob McKeown determined that the lemming scene was not filmed in the Arctic, but rather at Bow River near downtown Calgary. He was also able to learn that the lemmings did not leap from the top of the cliff to escape the long lines at Starbucks, but instead were propelled into the river by a rotating platform installed by the film crew.
It makes you wonder why Mickey Mouse would do something so horrendous to a fellow rodent, doesn't it? Consider this, the film won an Academy Award.

*No animals were hurt during the writing of this blog-- except for two mosquitoes, but they don't count because they were asking for it.*

A Ladybird 'Easy-Reading' Book: "The Policeman"

I'll readily admit that I do not read as many books as I ought. I hate spending vast amounts of time reading a book for several reasons: 1.) Books tend to take a long time to read, 2. I have already placed a considerable investment into a book by the time I may realize that it is not very good, and 3.) Many books do not contain enough factual information to help me make a difference in my day-to-day life. I suspect that these are fairly universal concerns. If you share these, please be confident that my recommendation of "The Policeman" addresses each of these concerns. First, the book is short and will take the average reader only a few minutes. Second, because it is such a short read and is also free, the amount of personal investment in it is minimal. And last, this is critical, informational, and unbiased writing at its finest.

Here is an excerpt:

"A policeman must always have his truncheon and notebook with him. The truncheon is used to hit a suspect if they resist arrest. Then their confession is written in the notebook."

Read the entire book here.

Save Fruit Pie the Magician!

In desperate times like these, in which Fruit Pie the Magician no longer appears on the waxy paper of the delicious Hostess treat, I ask myself, what would Fruit Pie the Magician himself do? And, deep in my heart, I know: he would appear dressed all dapper in his cape and top hat to perform his signature trick of making Hostess Fruit Pies appear out of thin air. What has become of our trusty friend with a delicate flaky crust? Was he simply "let go" by the powers that be at Hostess, or is the plot more sinister? The Internet is ringing of various theories, and some, such as Shookummike, have already posted eulogies:

"Fruit Pie the Magician is dead (at least here in S.E. New England, which is my stomping grounds). That fun-loving magically inclined anthropamorphic bundle of partial hydrogentated oils and refined sugars has met his maker. He always winked at me from the front of his wax paper wrapper. He was a magician, he was a pastry, he was a friend? No matter what he was, he's dead now."

Fortunately, at least one man, Brandon, is in search of the truth and has set up a site to Save Fruit Pie the Magician. Please visit his site and offer your support. Below is a copy of his facts that serve as a basis of what we currently know, and I would consider any additional conjecture on the current state as exactly that: conjecture.

= Fruit Pie The Magician was an advertising character created in 1973 to represent Hostess Fruit Pies. 

= He was created by Don Duga, who also animated the other Hostess characters. 

= He was one of seven fun characters representing Hostess Cakes starting in the 1970s, along with Twinkie The Kid (Twinkies), Captain Cupcake (Cupcakes), Happy Ho Ho (Ho-Hos), Chief Big Wheels (Big Wheels), Chauncey Choco-dile (Chocodiles) and King Ding Dong (Ding Dongs). 

= He was featured on the Hostess Fruit Pie wrappers from 1973 to 2006, with the exception of Hostess Pudding Pies in the 1980s, which did not have any character on them. 

= He was featured in many TV commercials in the '70s and '80s, often in tandem with other Hostess characters in some urgent need to "save the day" with snack cakes. (Make sure to visit his awesome commercials page!)

= Of the seven Hostess characters who began in the 1970s, all have been retired except for Twinkie The Kid. Fruit Pie The Magician retired in 2006. Captain Cupcake made a brief comeback in 2001. 

Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog

If you're unfamiliar with Joss Wheadon's latest project, a 40-minute musical featuring Neil Patrick Harris as a video-blogging bumbling super villian who is trying to get into the League of Evil, you're missing one of the treats of this summer--"Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog". Make sure to keep watching beyond the first two minutes, which starts off slowly as a low-budget vlog by our hero/evil villain, because the pace will pick up quickly. I'm not ordinarily one for musicals, but this one has it all: multi-layered characters (like onions), an assortment of evil rogues with extraordinary powers (such as making things moist), fascinating gadgets, and, of course, very catchy tunes.

Get it on iTunes for $4 or, better, visit it at hulu.com with limited commercial interruption. I have it on good authority that it can viewed in countries outside the United States.

http://www.hulu.com/watch/28343/dr-horribles-sing-along-blog

Now To Get The Anvils To Fall When I Want Them To

Everything I learned about engineering I learned from cartoons. Well maybe I can't say that, but Danish engineer Karl Kroyer can. In 1949 Carl Barks wrote the Donald Duck comic strip The Sunken Yacht where Donald and his nephews raise a sunken yacht by filling it with ping pong balls. Like painting usable tunnels on solid brick walls, running straight for at least 10 feet off a sheer drop-off cliff, making a method of reaching space by running a large rubber band between 2 trees, and having the perfect disguise by only putting on a hat or a fake mustache, I believed all cartoon things possible when I was 4. Fortunately for Kroyer, he believed in these things for much longer.
In 1964 a freighter carrying 5,000 sheep sunk in a harbor near Kuwait. The sheep died and the people were in danger of wide-spread disease from contaminated water unless the ship could be raised to remove the corpses, and soon. There wasn't much time to spare; even bringing in cranes to lift the ship would have taken too long and been too risky. Fortunately Kroyer was an inspired man. He quickly devised a method to make a tube leading to the ship and they ran many polystyrene balls (approximately twenty-seven million of them) down the tube filling the sunken freighter which soon began to rise allowing the workers to remove the sheep carcasses.
Kroyer, patting himself on the back, applied for a patent for this ingenious method of raising a sunken ship but was turned down when the patent office came across the Donald Duck version in which the idea was proven to have already been thought of 15 years prior.

Downloading YouTube Videos

While viewing some classic skits of the "Swedish Chef" from "The Muppet Show" last night on YouTube, it sadly quickly became apparent that downloading these files to the local hard drive isn't as easy as right-clicking the mouse and selecting a destination. (Sure, YouTube offers some cool organizing and sharing features, but there's something comforting about having the files safe on your hard drive, like warm socks in your dresser drawer.) Never fear, however, since it's still pretty easy: here are 23 downloader tools to do the work for you.  There are several different classes of these tools--here's a quick rundown:

Web-based: You don't need to download any third-party applications to your computer. Great for simple converting or for when you may not be able to install applications on the computer, such as in the workplace--but, while everyone I've checked with loves the Swedish Chef, I can't guarantee that your boss will. Anyway, I've just tried this one and can confirm that it works well: www.mediaconverter.com. Converting to simple ol' .avi files are probably the safest bet.

Dedicated applications: These come in flavors for Windows, OS X, and Linux. They probably offer the best results, but it may take some trial and error to discover which ones work best for you, and not all may be free.

Plugins: You need to use the Firefox browser to take advantage of these--but, if you're not already using it, you should strongly consider it--it's free, open-source, and fast. Plus, it's highly customizable--hence the easy-to-use plugins for downloading YouTube videos.

In addition, make sure to read the comments that others have supplied--apparently, some decent utilities were overlooked in the original article. Now, download away!

Flea Fever

It's that time of year again (depending on where in the world you are) that spring has hit and the fleas are out in full force. Fleas have been blamed for many health problems including the plague, and also carry tapeworms which can be transmitted to your pets and to people. The best way to prevent fleas is to use a monthly flea preventative on all of your pets regardless of whether your animals go outside. If you have very young pets that cannot have monthly preventatives, you can bathe them with Dawn dishsoap- works great! Popular and effective flea preventatives are Frontline, Revolution, and most recently Comfortis. There are many others, but these are the newest, most effective, and safest products out there. Many of the cheap products from Hartz and Bio Spot have been known to cause extreme illness, seizures, and death in cats and smaller dogs. You also have to be careful where you buy your good products. Many stores and internet companies are now selling Frontline and Revolution and claim they are the same as what you get at the vet. Surprise, surprise, they are not. The companies that make and sell the product sell only to licensed veterinarians and have no idea how these other places are getting these products. Are they from rogue veterinarians selling excess stock? Perhaps counterfeit product? Or foreign products that are made by the same counterpart companies but go through testing different from the FDA? Afterall, just because it's good enough for Europe are we sure we trust the safety tests they have done on it (and vice versa)? All of these situations have been discovered at one time or another.

Twinkie Ingredient #1 Enrichment Blend

Ferrous sulfate, or iron comes from the United States- the only ingredient in the enrichment blend that comes from the United States. At the steel mills, iron ore is baked into steel and squeezed into long sheets up to 1,400 feet long, and rinsed with sulfuric acid to remove the crusty oxide scales that automatically form on the new steel. After several sheets of steel have been through the sulfuric acid, it becomes saturated with iron and is pumped out to be separated. Iron sulfate crystals drop to the bottom of the tank and the sulfuric acid is poured off to be reused later. The crystals are ground into a fine dust and used to enrich Twinkies or in a number of other ways such as fabric dyes, inks, water purification, or weed killer. When cheaper, the food companies will use reduced iron instead of ferrous sulfate. Reduced iron is made when iron has reacted with carbon monoxide and/or hydrogen to get ferric oxide (better known as rust) which is ground to an ultra fine powder and used as ferrous sulfate. This product is less expensive and not as strong as ferrous sulfate and comes from India or China.

Niacin (B3) is made in Switzerland from 3 basic materials: water, air, and petroleum. The petroleum is processed under extreme heat and pressure into methane, ethylene, and hydrogen (among a multitude of other things). Air is liquefied and distilled to separate the nitrogen from the oxygen and the nitrogen is mixed with the hydrogen under high heat and pressure to make ammonia. The ammonia is mixed with oxygen to make nitric acid. Ethylene and Acetylene are mixed under pressure with water and a rare platinum catalyst to make acetaldehyde, a flammable liquid which is processed and mixed with ammonia. The ammonia/acetaldehyde blend is mixed with some of the nitric acid and niacin is the result.

Thiamine Mononitrate (B1) was the first vitamin to be discovered in the late 1800's by Dutch scientist Christiaan Eiijkman. There are a variety of ways that the vitamin is made and each company closely guards their secret. In most cases, thiamine mononitrate is made with coal tar (yum!) that may (depending on the company) be treated with hydrogen peroxide, active carbon, ammonium nitrate, nitric acid, and washing alcohol. Believe it or not, they say it is edible at this point, but they do let it dry into crystals and turn it into a fine powder before mixing it with our flour. Some overachieving companies further react it with methanol, hydrochloric acid, and ethanol to make thiamine hydrochloride, another version of the vitamin found in manufactured foods.

Riboflavin (B2) is my personal favorite. Often yeast or bacteria is fermented, with candida yeast being a commonly used variety. Makers of monistat must be proud. Ashbya gossypii fungus and bacillus subtilis, or spent beer grain recycled from beer companies can also be used. The vitamin is taken out of the fermentation broth by many complex processes including: concentration, purification, crystallization, drying and milling. Once created riboflavin is a deep orange color which is used as a natural yellow food coloring. People who eat excessive amounts of riboflavin will have a bright yellow urine. Riboflavin is necessary to allow us to grow and convert food into energy. Insufficient amounts of riboflavin also lead to cracks and sores around the mouth and nose, light-sensitive eyes, and a sore tongue.

Folic acid was naturally discovered by the British. Never having been known for their great culinary skills, English and Australian people often use marmite on their toast. Marmite is a dark, yeast based substance similar to jelly that tastes (I've heard) like a salty, bitter, awful form of molasses. In the 1930's Dr. Lucy Wills discovered that a certain kind of anemia could be cured with marmite. Folic acid is the manufactured version of B9 or folate, and is better absorbed by the body when in the synthetic form. This vitamin was added to the enrichment blend in 1993. Though discovered in England, folic acid is made in China using both fermented and petroleum products. The fermentation is done in cane molasses, tapioca starch, or cornstarch. The rest is made with glutamic acid (the one that makes MSG when mixed with sodium), a form of acetone (found in nail polish remover), pteroic acid, benzoic acid, paraffin and butyric acid (butyric acid is also used in the Twinkie artificial butter flavoring). This mix is refined, reduced in acidity, purified with zinc and magnesium salts, crystallized, dried, and sterilized until only a fine dark powder is left over.

All of these ingredients get mixed together and added to all of our flours by law. With Twinkies, we get to add many more products as well including everyone's favorite, sugar, which we'll talk about next time.

The Wonderful World of Webkinz Farming

Designed for children age 6-13, Webkinz are stuffed toys that come with a secret code which allows the child to enter them onto a website and have a fully-functional cyber pet that lives in Webkinz World and wants nothing more than to interact with the child. It is a perfect environment for teaching children how to use a computer, especially one with a windows feel in a flash environment, learn the value of money as they need to earn kinzcash before being able to buy clothes, food, furniture and toys for their pets, and interact safely with all other members of Webkinz World. While I said the site is designed for children, honestly only 38% of the people I know on it fall within the above age range. Regardless, the site does do an excellent job of keeping people safe by not showing any full names (even though all names are supposed to be made up) and allowing chatting between people to be done only by a list of preset statements and questions- no typing your own messages allowed. Sometimes I think they went a little bit in the wrong direction in some areas (customer service is also done by a drop down menu of preset questions). My biggest beef with them is money. The most common way of earning money in Webkinz is by playing games. Seriously- who wants their kid thinking they can go to the arcade for a few hours and come back loaded with extra cash?
I didn't want to set a bad example for my Webkinz pets (I have 10), so I set up a new system for earning money. We farm. The site has made it possible to plant your own vegetable garden and harvest from it. You can plant pumpkins, watermelons, carrots, cabbage, corn, strawberries, and tomatoes. Each vegetable needs to be checked for weeds (if not done within a few days the weeds will kill your plant) and watered (if not done you will get 20-25% more weeds in the garden) daily until you can harvest in 7-12 days.
Most people have a small patch, but deciding to earn my money the hard way, I bought 6 outdoor yards and completely filled them with vegetables of different varieties giving me a total of 619 individual plots of vegetables which we harvest daily and sell. I've been working on this project for about a month now and have learned a lot about the Webkinz way of farming. Here are some facts I learned the hard way.
The vegetable seeds cost different amounts and each type of vegetable grows at a different rate of speed, yields a different amount (or range of possible amounts) at each harvest, sells for a different price, and will satisfy the hunger of your pet to a different degree if fed to them. Based on the above criteria, the crops are in order from best to worst value are: strawberry, corn, carrot, watermelon, cabbage, pumpkin, and tomato. In fact, the tomatoes are such a bad deal that I ripped all of mine up to replace with strawberries. To give you an estimate of the difference, a single plot of strawberries will, in the average month, produce $63 in saleable goods where a single plot of tomatoes will, in the same time, produce $30 in saleable goods. It may seem like it isn't worth it to spend the time to care for the vegetables but in this past month I've earned an average of $930.11 per day in my vegetable sales for a total of $17,672 to date (keep in mind I had to wait over a week for my first harvest and I'm taking my average counting only from my harvest days, not all days from planting). On the other hand, I still haven't begun earning a profit as it cost me $37,155 to buy the land, the original seeds, and the new seeds to replace my tomato plants. Twenty-one more days like this and I will be debt-free. It will then be pure profit, Baby. Pure profit! I have been supplementing my income by sending one of the pets to the employment office each day where they can earn $100-$250 up to twice a day if I time it right.
I guess the moral of this blog entry is: Some people have too much time on their hands, and others have WAY too much time on their hands. As you're reading the random ramblings of a stranger, who are you to judge?

Twinkie Ingredient #1 Continued

We have already seen how the flour is created from the grains, but now we need to prematurely age the flour to whiten and oxidize it. Back in the "good old days" after flour was made it was left to sit for several months before use. This settling whitened the flour by letting the natural pigments break down and let the protein in the grain also break down to make a lighter, fluffier flour for use in cakes.Frankly, in our modern society of instant gratification, we can't wait that long. Instead of letting the process happen naturally, we help it along, also without the bleaching process, adding the same amount of sugar to the flour would make it the consistency more like a pound cake In order to get nice, white, light flour, we need bleach.
Yes, that's right. Chlorine, the same chlorine used to keep our pools clean and our whites bright is what they use. It might sound scary, but chlorine is the tenth most common chemical made in the United States, it is used in 85% of all our pharmaceuticals, purifies 90% of our drinking water, and is used in about half of all chemicals made in the United States. Granted, due to security reasons the locations of such plants are not easy to discover and no one is allowed to just walk in and visit casually. That's because chlorine is highly toxic and potentially explosive and would make a terrorist piddle himself with glee to think he could damage one of these plants.
Chlorine is found in many places naturally, but always mixed with another substance, such as NaCl, or salt. This is what they use to make the chlorine gas used for our Twinkies. A large tub of salt water is given a huge jolt of electricity and the particles separate, just as it was first envisioned by Michael Faraday (English chemist in case you were wondering) in the 1800's. The electricity hits the water and the chlorine separates from the sodium while the hydrogen separates from the oxygen and luckily each of these elements go to different sides of the enclosure because if the chlorine and hydrogen get together they will explode. The left behind sodium hydroxide, or caustic soda, will be used in a bunch of other food products like sodium caseinate, sodium stearoyl lactylate, artificial coloring, corn flour, soybean oil, vegetable shortening, and soy protein isolate.
For safety's sake, chlorine is usually shipped in large pressurized tanks that are bullet proof. They also like to say accident proof, but ask Graniteville, S.C. about that. Once these tanks arrive at the flour mill they are hooked up in an airtight, high-security, hazardous materials bungalow and allowed to trickle the chlorine into an agitator in the mill while the flour passes through, pushed along by 5 in. long maple paddles. The reaction occurs instantly, and our Twinkies flour passes out of the agitator in just seconds.
Now we have the white oxidized flour we needed, but due to legislation we have to enrich it. Enrichment is adding back in to foods nutrients which were destroyed during the processing. This is completely different from fortification in which they add nutrients to foods that never had nutrients to begin with. Odd to think with Twinkies that we are using the process of enrichment. Regardless, the enrichment blend includes ferrous sulfate and B vitamins, niacin, thiamine, mononitrate (B1), riboflavin (B2), and folic acid. Each of these were chosen in the enrichment blend to aid in fending off certain diseases like pellagra and beriberi- I don't know anyone who's had one of these diseases, so they must be doing a good job. Most of these vitamins are created rather than taken from fresh fruits and vegetables because it is more cost effective, easier to regulate the strength of the vitamin, and to regulate the quality. Unfortunately it is very hard to manufacture these chemicals without a lot of pollution, so we often have the enrichment blends created in places like India or China- looks like lead may be in there too! I'll come back to the particulars of the blend- much sooner than I got back to the bleaching process at a later date.

Financial Milestone Exceeded

I am pleased to announce that this website has now earned over $25! The third of nine milestones on my quest for $1 million has been reached, so, in a sense, I am one-third of the way to my goal.

As always, thanks for your support.

$1 - Exceeded!

$5 - Exceeded!

$25 - Exceeded!

$100

$500

$1000

$50,000

$250,000

$1,000,000

What's Become of Ask.com's Jeeves?

I was lately discussing one of my favorite topics, search engines, with a colleague, and the conversation turned to everyone's favorite information butler, Jeeves. He formerly had his own website, AskJeeves.com, but had apparently been snubbed when the site changed to simply Ask.com in February, 2006.

According to Ask.com (or at least the British version of this site, which Jeeves is presumably more involved with), Jeeves is in retirement and is cruising around the world on his much-loved boat. I, for one, am quite relieved, as I feared that he may have become another victim of layoffs or perhaps even age discrimination.

I wish Jeeves all the best in his retirement!

(On a related note, Ask.com has just this week changed focus and will no longer be competing directly against Google or Yahoo!. Instead, according to MSNBC, it has presumably fine-tuned its algorithm to focus on a "narrower market consisting of married women looking for help managing their lives.")

141 Years Late Is Better Than Never

Congratulations are in order to Alexandre Dumas for his new book released only 141 years after his previous books. Dumas, famous for novels such as The Three Musketeers, The Count of Monte Cristo, and The Man In The Iron Mask, had nearly completed this final novel, The Knight of Sainte-Hermine at his death in 1870. The manuscript was discovered in 1988 and has now been finished by Claude Schopp and recently released in the U.S. (It has been available for a few years in France already).

Twinkie Ingredient #1

Just for fun I decided that periodically I will update the blog to tell you about the ingredients in a Twinkie. Why Twinkie ingredients? Well, first off they are some of the most common ingredients used in processed food and second Steve Ettlinger already did all of the footwork in his book Twinkie, Deconstructed. Where creativity lets off, laziness sets in. I could give you all of the information on all of the ingredients at once, but we all know that that would just have you desiring a Twinkie so badly that you would have to leave the blog site to get one. Therefore, have patience. And if you can't summon up the patience, go buy the book. Keep in mind that Interstate Bakeries Corporation (they own Hostess and a number of other brands) was not very forthcoming with information to Mr. Ettlinger so he had to dig it up in a roundabout fashion, therefore some of the information may not be 100% how a Twinkie is manufactured (created? baked? assembled?), all errors contained within are strictly the fault of Mr. Ettlinger.

Enriched Bleached Wheat Flour [flour, ferrous sulfate]:

Flour. Sounds simple, right? Well where Twinkies are concerned nothing is simple. Let's begin our journey on a farm in Maryland. Most of the wheat for Twinkies come from farms in either Maryland, Virginia, or Delaware. Many of these farms are also run by the Amish- cool to think how they, as nonconsumers, supply all of us American super consumers. This particular farm must also grow the right type of wheat a low-protein high-starch variety of grass that is harvested by a combine once it has grown tall and is in full seed. The seeds, called wheat kernels or wheat berries, are what is harvested and sent to a mill where it is separated (from sticks, stones, and other debris), aspirated (to remove dirt), scoured (to remove the outer husks), sent through a washer-stoner (to again clean it and remove those pesky clingy stones), travel through a series of seed separators and into water-filled tempering bins that soften the inside but harden the outside, and finally into the 12-step program to grind and sift it into flour.

Fun fact no. 1: flour dust particles are highly explosive. It's the American version of the Chinese fireworks factory. Next time you're on a mill tour, remember not to smoke.

Later we will travel to Niagara Falls and follow our flour through the bleaching process. Until then. Enjoy your Twinkies (you may not enjoy them as much after our next session).

Blog Financial Update: Two Milestones Achieved!

In one of my first entries, I promised to provide updates when I reached certain financial milestones, and I am pleased to announced that I have surpassed the first two milestones on my 9-part plan of earning $1 million:

$1 - Exceeded!

$5 - Exceeded!

$25

$100

$500

$1000

$50,000

$250,000

$1,000,000

 To date, the site has generated $8.48 in its first month.

Google AdSense lists "5 Steps To Getting Paid" on its Payments Guide. Briefly, they are, with my commentary:

1.) Check your address

No problem.

2.) Provide your tax information

Oh oh, I didn't realize that the feds were going to get involved. That may complicate things s;ightly.

3.) Select your form of payment

"Cash" or "Under the Table" would be preferable, but I did not see either one of these as an available option.

4.) Enter your PIN

OK, sounds easy.

5.) Generate $100 in earnings

Milestone #4 just became significantly more important. At my current rate, I would receive payment in approximately March, 2009. Fortunately, the site is improving with new features and contributors, and I really feel that it's just about ready to take off.

A New Author For The Blog

Much of blogging is the act of recreating one's own day with the intention of stupefying readers with such a deep level of boredom that they can no longer find the energy to change the web address and are therefore trapped in a downward spiral of lethargy and mental atrophy. This blog is not one of those. As Franz has repeatedly pointed out (if not repeatedly to you in tbe blog, at least to me outside of it), this is one of the most interesting and useful web pages that exist. My intention in writing in this blog is, quite honestly, selfish. Franz has stated a desire to someday support himself financially through the act of blogging (and his wife's income) alone. Frankly, it just isn't happening quickly enough. Therefore I will be adding some blogs to help cover a wider range of topics in an effort to inspire readers to visit our page and click on the ads. After awhile you won't bother reading what I write- it probably isn't good anyway. The ads on the other hand are awe inspiring and will bring joy into your life when you click on them- really.

Please Welcome Alaina Paulson

I have fielded numerous requests to provide more features and content that my readers crave, and I am happy to introduce Alaina Paulson (the fake?) as a new contributor to the blog. Alaina will bring new topics and perspectives that I feel will complement this site's agenda quite well. Welcome, Alaina!

As an aside, we're always looking for new contributors, and I hope to be adding more in the near future--let me know if you feel that you are up to the challenge! In the meantime, please keep your comments and recommendations rolling in! My goal is for this to be the first site that you check every time you get on the Internet.

Loans Among Friends

Here's an interesting idea: loans among friends bypassing the bank (aka, "the man"). Traditionally, these have been informal and fairly difficult to enforce, so I could only really recommend them for the recipient unless the lender had close associates with names like Bruno and Guido. Well, Virgin Money has a solution to formalize this process.

Only downside for the lender: the usury limit in Illinois is a mere 9%. Still, you loan sharks out there could still come out ahead.

AdSense Update

I promised to let everyone know when I reached certain financial milestone goals pertaining to my AdSense displays. Unfortunately, I am still working on clearing that first $1. It has been said that the first $1 million is the hardest to make, and I have to presume that this amount scales downward as well, so the first $1 must be very difficult to make.

I would like to thank everyone who has clicked on the ads--you know who you are even if I don't. But I do know a lot of information regarding my site traffic and how my ads are doing, and I must say that I'm disappointed. How difficult is it to click on a few ads in the spirit of American capitalism when visiting what is, in my humble opinion, the most informative and entertaining website on the Internet? I'm not going to encourage or ask you, my dear users, to click on any of the Google ads. It's not because I am above such groveling, however. I simply want to remain compliant with the Google AdSense Program Policies, which include:

Encouraging clicks

In order to ensure a good experience for users and advertisers, publishers may not request that users click the ads on their sites or rely on deceptive implementation methods to obtain clicks. Publishers participating in the AdSense program:

• May not encourage users to click the Google ads by using phrases such as "click the ads," "support us," "visit these links," or other similar language
• May not direct user attention to the ads via arrows or other graphical gimmicks
• May not place misleading images alongside individual ads
• May not promote sites displaying ads through unsolicited mass emails or unwanted advertisements on third-party websites
• May not compensate users for viewing ads or performing searches, or promise compensation to a third party for such behavior
• May not place misleading labels above Google ad units - for instance, ads may be labeled "Sponsored Links" but not "Favorite Sites"

Interesting, these prohibitions do not include "soft persuasions" such as attempting to guilt visitors into clicking on ads due to the idea of maintaining a civil responsibility in line with our American ideals of capitalism and the concept that superior website content should be financially awarded. You may be familiar with this type of guilt if you have ever had to sit through a PBS pledge drive--although, in such a case, I must be quick to point out, they are actively asking you for "support" or "money", which I will never do. Theoretically speaking, however, I would not actively discourage any sort of support even though I may not specifically ask for it.

Perhaps even more interesting is that Google's prohibitions do not include "hard persuasions", which would include such techniques as personal threats (as long as they are not actually placed on the blogsite, which I think could logically be construed as "encouraging users" via phrases, and, hence, a violation of the first rule) or the use or practice of such controversial techniques as waterboarding. [Legal disclaimer: Please check with your laws before engaging in such "hard persuasions" activities as you may be subject to jurisdiction governing, restricting, or prohibiting their use.]

New Google Search Bar!

There's an exciting update to the site! It now includes a Google Search bar for all of your search engine needs. There are a few other search engines out there, but I believe that only one has entered the lexicon as a verb, as in "Google it". It's my engine of choice, and now you can use it directly from my site. There are two distinct bonuses to doing it this way:

1.) The primary reason is that you get to visit my site for exciting updates. My goal is to be your Internet portal.

2.) There could potentially be some financial benefits for me. In the spirit of full disclosure, the AdSense site reads, "Offer your users web search while earning revenue for ads relevant to their search items." So, if you use the search bar on my site to look for information, goods, or services, and then click on one of the paid advertisers relevant to your search, I will receive some compensation.

Everyone wins!

Traffic

The February, 2008, issue of Wired identifies 33 things that the writers feel suck, and then offers some insights. One of the items is traffic, and the byline reads, "The number of cars on the road isn't the problem. It's all those idiots braking when they don't have to." Read the article here. This is what I have been saying for quite some time now.

My daily commute to work is approximately 12.5 miles each direction. As I attempt to make this trip as quickly as possible (at least going to work) in order to arrive on time, I have become something of a student of the art of traffic, and I would like to share some of my findings. Please note that a few of the conditions of my trip are a bit unique and need to be taken into consideration: particularly, of the 12.5 miles, approximately 8 miles of this trip is straight on one road with two lanes going in each direction. There are 27 traffic lights to be contended with in this distance. The road is not particularly congested, but there are a good number of daily commuters with whom I share the road. Here are my insights for you to make the trip as quickly (and, potentially, as safely) as possible for you as well as your fellow commuters:

1.) Take as many reasonable measures as possible in order to ensure that you make it through the green light.

When you get stuck at a light, you not only lose the time that you must sit, but you also potentially lose time due to the inefficient driving techniques of the people that you are effectively letting get in front of you. If time is important, go through the intersection on the yellow light to make sure that you get in front of the slow pokes. It should go without saying, of course, that if you must take some chances when going though on a yellow light (such as accelerating or going through close to the red light), be very alert--particularly for drivers facing you attempting to make a left turn and for police officers.

2.) Remain in the right lane as much as possible--unless most of the left-hand turns on your route offer turn lanes.

Many people advocate always staying in the right lane since getting stuck behind a car making a left turn destroys efficiency, but I argue that when approaching intersections with a left turn lane, make sure to stay in the left lane since this will often be faster. Most people take their right turns too slowly and will force you to brake (and possibly miss the light--see #1). If there is no turn lane, you will have to use your judgement regarding the odds of the cars ahead of you making a left turn. (If you drive the same route every day at the same time, you may be able to learn where other drivers are going as well--at least on your little stretch of road.) Generally speaking, it is usually faster to be in the right lane in such a case. Note that the people who take these left turns have probably not planned their route effectively, and they are doing both themselves and you a disservice. Learn from the company that runs the tightest ship in the shipping business, UPS: "In fact, the parcel carrier has technology in its systems that help map this out routes that minimize the number of left turns the driver has to make."

3.) Focus on driving--and nothing else, especially talking on a cell phone.

A recent study concludes that drivers talking on their cell phones are adding to the time of your daily commute--up to 5%-10%. Plus, they are less safe drivers and are as dangerous as drivers who may be legally drunk.

Keep these tips in mind to arrive at your destination quickly and safely.

Apple Lisa Emulation

I'll readily admit that I like collecting computer hardware, especially older, vintage items. Many items in the past were built for very specialized applications, and the inspirations and engineering behind them are oftentimes fantastic.

Unfortunately, collecting computers and peripherals can take up quite a bit of space. The Command Center currently holds 5 working computers (a 1.0 GHz Mac G4, 1.0 GHz AMD Athlon PC, a 600 MHz G3 iBook, a 180 MHz 603e PPC Powerbook 3400c, and a 16 MHz 68030 Apple SE/30), and there is not a lot much space for many additionally. The rest of my collection has, sadly, been relegated to the attic.

Most of my collection consists of vintage Apple computers My earliest Macintosh is a 512k Mac, and I also own a couple Apple II's: an Apple IIc and a currently non-functional Apple II GS. However, one of the most significant pieces of Apple computer hardware, short of the Apple I, has eluded me: the Lisa.

While a commercial failure (and carrying a $10,000 price tag), the Lisa was the first computer mass-produced with a Graphical User Interface when it debuted in 1983. While its 5 MHz 68000 processor was considered somewhat pokey even at the time, it was the first computer designed to be usable by anyone via a mouse and drop-down menus. Its fame was soon eclipsed by its related cousin, the Macintosh, a year later, but the Lisa was, in many ways, a significantly more powerful machine despite its slower clock speed, and it would be many years before the Mac OS incorporated some of the more-advanced features of the Lisa OS that included protected memory, cooperative multitasking, and support for 2MB of RAM. By comparison, the Mac OS did not gain protected memory until 2001 with the release of UNIX-based OS X. Despite the superiority of the hardware, and particularly the software, the much lower price of the Macintosh contributed to the commercial failure of the Lisa. Indeed, the final fate of the Lisa is quite sad: of the Lisa's that exist, most are no longer capable of running the Lisa OS since Apple offered a free upgrade that replaced some of the hardware with that capable of running only the Mac OS. Later Lisa's with the newer hardware were sold as the Macintosh XL ("extra large"?) and, with specialized software, were capable of fully emulating a Mac Plus and running up to System 7.5.5. Worst of all, in 1989, Apple threw away approximately 2,700 unsold Lisa in a guarded landfill in Logan, Utah in order to receive a tax write-off on the unsold inventory.

I almost bought a Lisa on eBay a few years ago, and am somewhat disappointed that I did not since it was in pristine condition (and never upgraded to a Macintosh XL), contained all documentation, and was being sold for less than its value. So, it was with great delight when I read that Ray Arachelian, after 8 years of working diligently on the only Lisa emulator (I had followed his sporadic progress for years), finally developed a completely working emulator! You can read an interview with him from Low End Mac's Ted Hodges here. And, make sure to give the emulator itself a try, as well. It now does not require the actual ROMs to run as earlier versions did. I did manage to acquire the ROMs for the earlier releases, however, and had my emulator running back in April, 2007.

The Lisa/Macintosh XL pictured at the beginning of this blog is not my own; the file is from the Wikipedia Commons. The screen capture was made running LisaEm 1.0.0 under OS X using a desktop designed by a "friend".

Selling Out To The Man

You'll note that this blog now contains (or will soon contain) ads from Google Adsense. I'm providing this solely as a service to you, my readers, in order to provide you with goods and services that I feel you may be interested in.

[Full Disclosure] Plus, I make a small amount of money each time you click on one of the ads. So click often!

I'll let everyone know when I achieve the following milestones:

$1

$5

$25

$100

$500

$1000

$50,000

$250,000

$1,000,000

I hope to someday be able to quit my full-time job and sustain myself strictly by blogging (combined with my wife's income). We shall see . . . 

My Inspirations and Sources

The inspiration for the format of this blog is boingboing.net. Interesting assorted stuff. Another obvious inspiration is The Secret Diary of Steve Jobs. Again, good stuff.

Other sources that I visit nearly every day include:

Macintouch

CNN

MSN

I'll always credit to my sources when I share interesting information!

About This Blog

Hello, my friend. Are you drowning in a sea of data and information? Have you lost your sense of direction in life? Are you searching for value and meaning in your existence? If so, welcome. You've come to the right place. I like to think that this is a place where I can share meaningful content and insight that I've gleaned from this vast world . . . all carefully distilled and doctored in my own little forum.

Hi, I'm not Franz Schleicher. Glad to know you. Now that we're introduced, feel free to visit whenever you can. I'll try to share what I can. And I encourage you to do the same by replying. I've made it easy by allowing anyone to respond anonymously. This policy may change if the site gets spammed, but I want it to be easy to share things. And your confidentiality is always assured.

My postings may be items that I personally find interesting, or that I think you may find interesting, and I may add some commentary or simply let links speak for themselves. I don't anticipate that the content from me will be too heavy, but these are good times--but times are subject to change.

At any rate, welcome, and enjoy!